Have you heard

I had an interesting conversation with one of our members (who shall remain nameless) after last month’s newsletter. I was advised that the lexophiles were ‘Dad jokes’ and we should get back to wine cartoons in this section. So I have a choice more Dad Jokes or look for wine cartoons. I must have a wee obstinate streak in me somewhere.

I didn’t like my beard at first, but then it grew on me. (Had to include this didn’t I – Ed)

This woman today said she recognizes me from the Vegetarians Club, but I’d swear I’ve never met herbivore.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.

When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she would dye.

If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

My wife left me and ran away with my next door neighbour!!! I’m actually starting to miss him.

I am terrified of elevators. I have to take steps to avoid them.

Do you know why cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they Lactose.

And to introduce a wine (or is that whine) element

I’ve trained my dog to bring me a glass of red wine – it’s a Bordeaux Collie.

I’m a wine enthusiast – the more wine I drink, the more enthusiastic I get’.

The first thing on my bucket list is to fill the bucket with wine.

(Not all my own work- part of this list was ably contributed by Mr Kennedy – Ed)

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