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I have decided to move away from wine jokes this month. Editor’s privilege you understand. I came across an item on “lexophiles”, a play on words, and decided I would try a few.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s really good, I just can’t put it down.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, then it dawned on me.
I know a guy who’s addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop anytime.
A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.
A will is a dead giveaway.
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.
Police were summoned to a day-care centre where a three year old was resisting a rest.

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